Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Thinking Ahead

Oh my what a pain, literally to get out of bed this morning.  I tried hard as I could to muffle out Lexus' demands for me to get up until I could not ignore any longer as Buddy decided to also chime in on the request.

I most certainly was dragging my behind today, to the point my bed didn't get made until late afternoon.  The point is though that it is made.  Funny how I have been letting some most things go to pot, but I can not leave my bed unmade or the dishes not done up despite the rest of the house falling down around my head.

This morning I took Rob's scheduled appointment with our Doctor, as he was otherwise booked with a fare.  The appointment went as well as could be expected.  Of course I heard some things I really didn't care to hear, which I already knew but was trying to avoid.  Yes I am driving myself crazy and if I do not stop it soon it will destroy me.  My body can't keep up with my mind anymore, and it needs a break.

My doctor has referred me to a Counsellor to assist me in sorting out my feelings.  Yes sometimes it is best to have an unbiased opinion to help you listen to yourself.  I know I have been fighting the reality of it all for some time now, but to save myself and give me a Peace of mind I need help.

At one time I felt bad for needing help, but now realize there is no shame in it, and actually is a show of strength in admitting the need.  Ah if things were all so simple to finally realize ones journey of life.

Hopefully the wall of darkness is lifted once again towards the light at the end of my tunnel.

I was elated later last night when my Crabby Cabbie Rob had to go downtown, then called me to say he was taking someone up to Lion's Head.  As it happened when he had been downtown he had noticed a person a the side of the road, knelt down in the cold of the night.  When he came back past this same person was hitchhiking.  The poor boy was trying to get home, and the Highway was closed, but he had just walked from Hepworth all the way to Wiarton.  It is a wonder he had not frozen to death.

Rob took the back way up to Lion's Head, as the highway was till closed, and got this young man close to his home as he could without going on closed roads.  The young man was very appreciative, as he had no money.  Rob told him don't worry about it, here is my card and if you ever need a ride you can call and pay for the next ride.

I do LOVE my Crabby Cabbie's heart ... two good deeds within hours of each other.  Yes I do believe  "what goes around comes around", and paying forward leaves us with a really good feeling.

Rob and I have been thinking ahead and the delivery arrived today.

15 Cords of split Maple arrived this afternoon.

Then 10 Cords of Ash arrived a bit later in the afternoon.  Ash can be burned if it is not seasoned, so this is to make sure we are warm until this Winter gets over with, should we run out of our reserves.

Portia was out with us and was quite inquisitive until the wood was dumped with all the big noise, then she hid behind dad's legs where she was safe.

Yes much better to have wood delivered now rather then wait until Fall when it might be more scarce to get Maple.  We might not be able to pay our bills next Fall/Winter, but you can be assured we will be warm.  *smile*.

I can not begin to count how many times I was out with the Aussies today, but I know within one hour I had been out at least 6 times just with Portia !  I was froze and thought my nose was going to fall of my face.  I was very grateful for the Dark Roast coffee Rob had brought home for me this afternoon.  I had taken over 2931 steps by this afternoon, not counting the ones when I didn't have my phone on me.  The app on my iphone that counts my steps is called Pacer, and is a free app to download to your phone.  Last Friday I had almost 5,000 steps that day. 

For anyone with an iphone for the free Pacer app go HERE.  Do you keep track of how much you walk in a day?

This evening Rob was cooking dinner for us.  I am very grateful he has no problem cooking.

Tonight's menu was pan fried Sole, with long grain rice and steamed broccoli on the side.  I take full credit for cooking the rice.

I have to admit this afternoon I had myself a short nap, and actually felt better for it.  I had quite the time shaking the fatigue when I did get up, but it eventually left me.  It is very seldom I ever nap, but I have been so tired.  My Doctor did tell me to discontinue one of my meds, so we will see if that will have some effect.

Rob is gone out on a call right now.  I need to take out the Aussies for another romp before bedtime then call it a night myself, Just North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard.

DISCLOSURE:  Any opinions within my blog post(s) are my own and NOT affiliated with any organization I might belong to or affiliated with.


  1. I so agree that realizing you need help and asking for it is definitely a sign of strength! I'm so glad that I asked for help several years ago and now feel so much better for doing so. Hopefully you will find that light at the end of the tunnel soon!

  2. You're absolutely right- asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, but before we get to that point, we think the opposite. Counselling has helped me, and talking things out with someone who's trained to ask the right questions is liberating. If the dynamic doesn't work with one, you can try another.

  3. I think you are doing all the right things. That is an awful lot of wood. How many bush cords do you burn a year?

  4. I wish I was there to help you in some way Cindy. I'll be thinking about you. <3


How nice of you to drop around to have a wee visit with me to see what I have been up to from time to time. I look forward to your comments as they add much brightness to my each and every day to know there are such wonderful people out there.

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