Ever since my youngest Son and his partner, parents to our 2 grandboys, Aiden 9 & Conner 6, parted ways a Year ago October 2013, I feel I have been penalized. Rob and I went from having Aiden for a week at Christmas, March Break, and usually 2 weeks in the Summer, then most recently including Conner (he didn't want to come until he got a bit older), to barely one week a Year.
Now I just find out the one week I have requested out of the whole Year just is not suitable to Her who controls all. Apparently her Mother has first dibs on what week she wants them this Summer, a Grandmother who sees them on a weekly basis as they live in the same City !!! Where is the justice in all this ...
It is worse. I was told by her that if I wanted them I had to go through her. Our Son told me I wasn't to talk to her and I was to go through him. What the Hell !!! (pardon my French) what is terribly wrong with this picture ??? And if I say anything in rebellion to either one of them, I am the BAD person, except I can not say my son has any control in this matter as it is a constant battle for him as well as SHE has full control and uses it to her advantage never mind the boys best interests.
Honest to God if I had the money I would be able to afford to go to Court to exercise my Grandparent's rights, but I can not even afford to do that ! so where does that leave me? at their mercy.
The worse part is what we all know that once our children or grandchildren get to a certain age they want to hang out with their friends, not their parents, especially their grandparents. I am feeling much hurtful anger over this, AGAIN, as I feel I am being robbed of my time with our grandchildren.
I sure wish I had a friend that was a very smart snazzy lawyer that could take care of this for me for a "song" that is what I wish for ... as the other things would not be legal now would they? Geesh it makes me angrier then a "wet hen" sometimes and truly I have already cried a river or two about it.
If I get the boys at all this Summer it will be not when I want them for the week I can put them into the Day Camp Aiden so loves, and that ends with my Family Reunion so the boys can get to know our side of the family and all their cousins that are their ages, NO it will be some week where it there will be nothing going on rather then something I had planned will be in their best interests in mind.
But regardless if I am so fortunate to have them, I will enjoy every blessed moment I get to spend with them, this I know. That is my rant for the day, not that I feel much better, but still it helps getting it off my chest somewhat, and knowing I am not the only grandparent who has had to suffer because of a child and their partner splitting up.
What really frosts my butts is remembering HER saying once, "if anything happens between your son and I, I would NEVER keep the boys from you". HA what a pile of BS that was. I suppose this might have been true if I would have taken her side completely and shunned my son forever, then there might have been some truth to her statement. Apparently I wasn't completely done my rant yet. There DONE !
Back to a couple more pleasant moments of my day despite the deary rain that is flooding out our property again.
I indulged the other day and bought myself a table runner. I love Sunflowers and the colour blue. The birdies I had also indulged in for myself last Fall seemed to be the perfect fit for the runner. Little things sometimes brighten up an otherwise dreary day, do they not?
This morning after I had changed up the bedding, put in a load of wash, I headed out the door for some errands downtown Wiarton for myself and the WDCC. I left home at 10 am to return 4 hours later.
Returning in the afternoon didn't mean I could shirk further duties of the day, as I had another load of laundry to do, vacuuming and then washing some floors. The washed floors will probably not stay as so once Bandit has been out and in the next couple of times. Regardless of wiping his feet with old towels the floors still suffer. For the LOVE of our pets, and truly I could not imagine life without them, especially our Bandit.
Even though this afternoon was pouring down rain, Rob was kind enough to go out on the deck to BBQ us each a pork chop for our Dinner.
We had a poor man's dinner with each one chop, and as requested by Rob, Pork and Beans.
My dear Crabby Cabbie is gone to work, while I think I will try to knit a couple rows on a scarf I have been working on for at least 2 years or more, or try to read, or maybe watch a bit of TV as in the Food Network that I enjoy, or a re-run of the Vikings. Things to do to take my mind off of other things.
Almost forgot again to post the photo of what I had been following up Frank Street in Wiarton yesterday...
.... thinking it was a good thing they had removed the wings before transporting???
On that note I will call it a wrap for this day, Just North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard.
sending {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteWish I could make it better.
ReplyDeleteJane x
Parents who break it off so often are so caught up in their own hurt that they refuse to put the kids first. Everything's about getting ahead of the other person.
ReplyDeleteSometimes life just sucks!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, dear Cindy, I'm so sorry. The divorce is always hard but often parents don't understand that their behavior hurts kids the most... I really hope you can get through to her!
ReplyDeleteOh Cindy, how so very sad. As you know I have been down that road with my own grandchildren recently. I can definitely feel your pain and sadness.....and anger. It's a shame. Grandchildren need to know who their grandparents are and spend time with them and grandparents need to spend time with their grandchildren. Sending you hugs Cindy~
ReplyDeleteHugs, Cindy! ♥ Don't know what to say other than she is being completely un-reasonable... and - seems to be quite a liar!! Karma is a BITCH!! :D
ReplyDeleteI've been away for four weeks and after 10 glorious hours of sleep and a cup of my own coffee the first thing I did was turn to your blog and catch up. Your writing is so interesting and I enjoy hearing of your daily routine, plus the delicious recipes.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever tried melatonin for your sleep problem? It helps me when I've been out of the country to fall asleep and better yet, stay asleep.
Sorry about the grandchildren mess, but have faith. I've been there and although She Who Must Be Obeyed has done her best to keep me out of their lives, eventually they grow old enough to think for themselves and form their own opinions about spending time with their grandparents.
Sending good thoughts your way.
Sorry for your troubles, Cindy. I would send them little letters which tell them about things that you have bought for them or things they would be doing next time they visit you. Never underestimate kids pester power! Cheers from Carole's Chatter
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Cindy. My parents went through something similar. Lawyers had to be involved, but things have improved. I hope the situation improves for you as well. It's hard. And the kids end up suffering too often.
ReplyDeleteJust come back to this post having read tomorrows....if you see what I mean. I'm so sorry Cindy. Divorce can be so, so cruel when children are involved and it is so often the Grandparents that bear the brunt with access. I completely understand your anger; the ructions between parents are basically taken out on the children, who are denied the relationship with their whole family. I'm angry for you my friend. Keep positive and hope that when things calm down a bit, there may be an improvement in the situation. Big hugs from over the pond. xxx
ReplyDelete