Two Years Ago Today

It was two years ago today I had my vehicle accident that wrote our vehicle of owning less then 24 hours "off", but walking away along with my GF with some bruising.

I can still relieve that day in my "mind's eye".  It was a bitter cold Sunny day with blustery winds drifting the snow across the roads at a pace to fast for your eye to follow.

My GF had asked if I would pick her up over in Sauble Beach to take her into Owen Sound shopping.

Why oh why do I not listen to that "little voice inside my head" when it speaks I will never know.   Off I went taking my time as visibility wasn't too bad in most places at all, and besides the Sun had been out in full force what could be wrong with that.  Nothing I hadn't drove in that had been worse when on afternoon shifts working in Owen Sound and driving up Hwy 6 with a couple of feet of snow on it and not even knowing where the edge of the road was.

The vehicle I had been driving was a little Tracker 4x4 we had just drove down to Mississauga the day before to purchase.  Everything had been changed over on the ownership and plates before we had drove it back home, so it had been good to go that day.  I remember Rob even saying that day, just leave it and take your car.  But "no" I had to take the new to us vehicle.

I picked my GF up and we headed out.  We hadn't even been up the road 200 feet when we hit black ice and started spinning out.  Everything I had been taught came immediately to my mind ... do not brake, go into it until you feel you can pull yourself back out of it.  The one thing I had forgot to do was put it in neutral.  I remember spinning and glancing over worried about my GF.  We stopped spinning in the middle of the road and resting back end against the snow bank on the other side of the road.

For a split second it was like "dead" silence at a complete stop.  Then it felt like a huge hand came out of no where picking the vehicle up and tossing it over the snowbank end for end.  Again I remember rolling over and over upside down fearing for my friend.  The vehicle finally landed on its passenger side and started sliding across the hardened snow.  We were sliding directly towards a tree that was lined right up to make impact with my GF.  I remember praying, Dear God let it miss her and hit me".  All momentarily went black.  Seconds seemed like minutes the whole time.  I looked to see we had shifted with the tree coming my way ... we slide right by it.

I was hanging in my seat belt over top of my girlfriend.  She had her right hand up against her face laying against the passenger side window.  I watched the window shatter underneath her hand thinking her hand and face would be shattered by it as well

After asking her if she was "okay".  I managed to undo my seat belt and bracing myself down to stand over top of her without falling on her.  My Cell phone had gone flying somewhere, however Colleen's was in her purse somewhere in the seat behind her.  I do not know how I managed, but I did find it and her Cell phone calling 9-1-1.

That had to be one of the most frustrating calls I have made, as the 9-1-1 operator was not from or in the area and had no clue when I told her where we were.  She kept asking what cross road, and I kept telling her I do not know we were just outside of Sauble Beach on the Hwy going towards Hepworth.  She kept asking and I kept insisting I didn't know.  What the heck ! I felt like I was going madder then I was already feeling.  I was sick with worry for my GF, who six months prior had already suffered a stroke, and we needed help !

It was freezing.  I had found my little neck pillow behind the seat, somehow getting it under my GF's face.  It only appeared her hand had been cut, not her face.  I then called Rob immediately after 9-1-1. When he got on the phone I told him we were in an accident, and he had said to me, "why did you take the new vehicle?"   I was ready to break.  Until he got to the scene he hadn't realized how bad of an accident it had been, as he was thinking I had gone off the road and was down in the ditch kind of accident.

Someone came to the vehicle window after what had seemed like a very long time.  It was Rich from RT's in Hepworth who was on the Volunteer Fire Department in Sauble Beach, who was just driving by.  Another vehicle had also stopped giving him a blanket for us.  We never found out who those kind Souls were to thank them, but really it was very much appreciated.

What seemed like eons, the emergency crews arrived getting me out first, then figuring out how to get Colleen out.  I was pretty upset in the back of the ambulance by the time Rob had arrived on the scene, as I couldn't see what had been going on with my GF.  It was freezing across the road from the bitter cold winds so fast the emergency crews were sliding all over, this I also remember.

What had been really upsetting me the most was the week before I had a dream that I had been at her funeral and seen her laid out in a casket.  This is what had been unnerving me to the point of going over the deep end.  It was almost like a premonition or warning that I should have listened to that inner voice that morning.  Oh why oh why did I not take heed, instead acting out like an unruly child.  Because I was asked to do something, and I have always had a problem most times saying, "NO".

My GF had been removed from the vehicle and we were transported by ambulance to the Grey Bruce Health Center in Wiarton to be checked over.  We both had x-rays taken.  The attending Doctor took another set of my neck, asking me if I knew how bad my neck was?  I panicked thinking something had happened to make it worse.  It turned out no further damage had shown up on the x-ray but he had wanted to make certain.  This I thank him for.

By the time I was allowed in the other room where my GF was and her hubby had arrived at the hospital we had been actually laughing and giggling.  I felt awful about why I had been doing this when thinking about it later, but was told by a couple of people that "shock" does this to people.

Since this day, two years ago, I now suffer panic attacks if I have to go out on the roads with the least bit of snow on them.  I have tried to talk myself out of this fear continuously to no avail.  I am beyond nervous at times with snow on the roads even with Rob driving.  I really hope some day this will pass, as these feelings of fear I find to be most debilitating.

That was my two years ago today, five days later I began blogging to take my mind off dwelling on the accident with me never having stopped blogging since.

Wow, this just flowed out from my fingertips without a pause.  I am rather surprised how vivid and clear it is still in my mind, considering I can barely remember what I did a half an hour ago some days.

On a lighter note, how was my day?  Up and down like a roller coaster.  I have been in a real "funk" lately, hoping to find some way out of it sooner then later, as I am not caring for it one iota !

This is why I LOVE having my own homemade Chicken Stock as back up in the freezer ... to make my life easier when we need a hot wholesome meal.

"First thaw out the Chicken Stock, dice up some carrots, red onion, celery, peas and chopped cooked chicken to simmer until veggies are fork tender, throw in a handful of Egg Noodles, and Viola !  supper ready to go in an already heated thermos for my hubby to take along with him to work."

It does not get any more Easy Peasy as 1-2-3 then that folks, and I LOVE it being this way.

Before Rob put on his "Crabby Cabbie" hat to go out the door this day, he did help me give four bundles of cuteness their first dose of worming medication, along with Mama Lexus getting hers too.

You can see all that cuteness of goings on by *clicking* HERE.

It is still fairly early.  I am thinking after I take everyone out and about for the last time this evening at 8 pm, I might head off to bed with a couple good magazines to peruse through some recipes.  Who knows what new creation my strike my fancy to try out next, "Just North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard".