Friday, 15 March 2013

A Google Change & Grey Areas

I was reading through blog posts of those I follow on a daily regular basis when at Esther Norine Designs, Esther had made the statements, A little part of me was heart broken this week over the google reader fiasco. Like you, I've used google reader to keep up with my blogs. Like you, I'm switching to bloglovin.  Of course right away confusion set in my feeble mind, however I shoved it aside and went forward with googling an inquiry.

This is what I found:  

Powering Down Google ReaderWe have just announced on the Official Google Blog that we will soon retire Google Reader (the actual date is July 1, 2013). We know Reader has a devoted following who will be very sad to see it go. We’re sad too.
For more read on this *click* HERE.

Good thing I had read Esther's post or I would have been really confused on July 1st. Thanks Esther, and I hope I shed more light on this for others. Indeed I, myself, have switched over to Bloglovin' with also adding a FOLLOW ME link to it on my sidebar. Thank you in advance always for those who choose to continue following my blog and give me some Bloglovin'.

My day? uneventful "period". Why would my day be as so? because with barely any sleep the past 2 weeks running I am ready to "drop" in my tracks I am so dang, dang, triple dang tired with barely being able to keep my eyes open to type this post. Why have I not been sleeping the past 2 weeks, one might wonder? Let's chalk that up to menopause and stress being the number one factors.

I really need to get myself out from under this "funk" I have been in the past few months and move forward before it buries me.

Menopause, as most woman can testify to, is not the most glamorous thing to be feeling to begin with. Stress can effect a person in more ways then you could "shake a stick" at, and really is not the bet thing as it contributes to more pain for a person suffering with Fibromyalgia.

Everyone who knows me, knows how often I have had our grandson, Aiden, come stay with us since he was 2 years old, now going on 9 years old this Sept, and Connor, who is 5, started coming to visit last Summer. This was the first March Break Aiden had not came to spend with us in 7 years.

I cried myself a River last week when I found out he was not coming. Why after 7 years would he not be coming? because his Mother, and my Son parted ways last October. One minute the boys were coming, and the next minute Paul received a "text" message from her that the boys did not want to come here. Two weeks prior to that I had made a call to the boys, with her not returning either calls. She told my Son that she had a life, when he had asked why she had not returned my phone calls.

She can have her life, as she just burned her bridge with this gal.

How much fun did the boys have spending a week with us? looks like more then enough when I look back on this day HERE, which was one of many.

What is funny is if She was going somewhere and had the boys go to her Mothers, or Fathers, she would have been telling them that is where they were going. But this time around with me, she asked them and gave them a different choice for them to decide not to come here, rather then telling them they were coming here. The funny thing was they had went back home with a visit with my Paul, who had not even said anything to them, only when I had asked if they were coming up to see me on March Break when I spoke to them on the phone, and they had both said, "yes", SHE had sent Paul a text saying what did you say to them as now they both want to go to YOUR MOTHERS ! Was this a bad thing??? why would she say such a thing??? if not to hurt us.

I do NOT see it being in the best interest of any child of a split union between parents that they be used as Pawns. She has been using theses boys, our grandchildren, as Pawns to gain herself leverage or to weld her vindictiveness upon my Son and others, myself included. Shame on any parent who would do this to their children.

Why can I see through someone like this? because as I see it, if they can not control the one in their life who has left them, then they will do all they can to continue controlling that person through the children, as well as controlling the children. I could SCREAM why things have to be like this. I get there is anger and hurt in any split up, but put that aside to make life good for those children !!!

I, myself had a terrible life with my boys father (first marriage), and never said a word against their father to them until they were old enough to ask and question things. My youngest since he was 2 years old had only seen his father once, which really was a blessing for us. The difference in this situation my Son loves his children to pieces and all he wants is to see them on a regular basis without any hassle, but this is not to be with some parents. Sad, many many sad situations, this being only one out of many.

My heart feels like it was ripped out of my body and totally discarded for what She has done to me. I never wish ill on anyone, however I do firmly believe what goes around does come around, some day or some year in that person's lifetime.

The last couple of months, as I have mentioned before, we have also dealt with two separate occasions of nasty people who have misrepresented themselves, have lied, been self-serving and deceitful, in turn bringing us down to deal with some pretty nasty stuff. These two incidents are still on-going and unpleasant.

I am of the opinion that no matter the age of a person, once they have been a bully, liar, and deceitful, they must remain to be so all of their lives. I despise people as such and have no tolerance whatsoever of anyone who is a liar for self-serving reasons and to cause harm towards innocent people. Again what goes around will hopefully come back around to them some day, once we have had to deal and hopefully soon rid ourselves of any further dealings with them ourselves.

No sleep, dealing with undesirables and heart broken over my grandchildren not being here with us this past week, I have not been coping very well the past couple of months, and I am feeling almost at the end of my rope.

I have to somehow force myself out of this "funk" and start living again, as it has been bringing me down to a place I really hate being. I have no energy or enjoyment. I am feeling run down, my housework is suffering, my moods are awful, and I am finding no enjoyment at all with anything ... it looks all rather grey most days. 

When I look at my brand new stove and feel nothing, you really know something is wrong.

I am a black and white person and need to find my way back out of this grey area very soon.

Really this is the first time I have mentioned to this extent how I have been feeling the past few months, other then to my husband and my one sister. I hate burdening others, and really it is a battle within myself I have to deal with that nobody else can take from me.

Really now it is down in front of me, I hope I can give myself a shake and start an upward climb towards working on feeling better every day from here on in. That is enough about that I will try my best to get on with it then.

I thank God I love my dogs and have my dogs, as there have been many days they have been my salvation and gotten me up and going many mornings. One of my readers had mentioned to me once, that my dogs have been the best thing for me being a Fibromyaglia suffer, for that very reason, they get me up and moving each and every day. Thanks for understanding, as I know how well you do Marie.

"These photos were taken this afternoon when I was at the bottom of the stairs getting ready to take Buddy out with Bandit at the top of the stairs watching us. I do LOVE my dogs, and who couldn't when you see those eyes looking at you like this?"

Speaking of my dogs, should you like a little "peek" of the reality behind the cuteness I posted all about some of it this morning that you can see by *clicking* HERE.

On that note, it is still early here with it just going onto 6 pm with the sun shining, "Just North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard".


  1. Thank You for sharing why you have been feeling so blah. My heart goes out to you as I have walked a mile in your shoes and feel your pain. Hope spring arrives soon and maybe with a few warm sunshiny days You will feel better physically. My sister in Law and i have started walking this week and it feels so good to get out in the fresh air and have a daily chat and walk. Hope you feel better soon .
    Hugs from your Friendly Heathen Woman.

  2. Hi Cindy So sorry about you not seeing the boys this march break .I know how much you love and enjoy them .I totally agree that parents should put their differences aside and not use their kids as a pawn to hurt others . I pray that things will turn around soon and you will soon have them visiting you again,! love and blessings to you

    1. Thanks Sharon, I know you know exactly how I feel.xx

  3. Cindy, I am so sorry to hear of your current situation. It's the children who are being hurt by their mother. I hope she soon realizes this and lets them come to see you. Many hugs............Bess

  4. Cindy, your son should seek a lawyer to represent him in custody issues for his separation agreement. Currently unless their are extreme circumstances parents are given joint custody and equal access- 50/50 time with each parent. Anytime spent with your son means he alone decides who sees the children. I have the names of some very good Family court lawyers in Grey-Bruce if you would like to PM me for their contact information. A large portion of my work involves family court with my clients so I have a pretty good handle on it locally.
    As for your "funk" I really empathize! i often am not sure if it is the weather or hormones that make late winter so tough.If you are not getting good REM sleep it will alter your serotonin levels( those lovely brain chemicals that make us feel happy!) Don't wait too long to take to your doctor or Nurse Practitioner about it.

  5. Well your not on your own my dear ! I had my fair share of a rotten first marriage with kids but as they are older now they now understand why I had to leave as they have seen it for them selves with who their farther is and they don't like it ! As for your Son I would go for joint custody right off the bat then that way it gives him some clout over her and what goes on with the kids ! I am sorry this is going on in your life and hope things get better for you all . Menopause heck I have been going through that for 7 years now NOT fun but there is a lot of support here for you if you need it ! Take care of yourself first !

  6. Sorry about all you are going through / feeling Cindy. Hang in there - and know that people care - like me. You are a wonderful, caring person that gives so much to others. And - what goes around - comes around! Hang in there!

  7. :( ... I'm feeling blah too, but for me it's just the doldrums of the season change. I felt like crying when I read about manipulation and games your ex-dil is playing. It will come back to bite her in the butt. May your family stay well above her crap. The boys will know, someday, how much they are loved and seek that love on their own. And I just signed up for BlogLovin' and got all the blogs I followed transferred over. I like BL a lot, much better than Google Reader.

  8. Oh Cindy, I'm really sorry about your family troubles. My eldest son is from my ex husband - awful husband, brilliant father. I didn't burden my child, who I love, with my issues and faults with his Dad. It's really sad when couples use children to play power games, common sense should dictate not to, and that it's the kids who get hurt... so why doesn't it ever sink in?

    Ah Bloglovin' I've finally cottoned on this morning. All week I've had people adding me and thought it was odd. I've read a few blogs about Google Reader - which tbh I rarely use. I think the interface of Bloglovin' suits me better and that I'll probably visit people more this way :-)

  9. Hi Cindy~ Stopping by today to tell you I have nominated you for The Liebster Award. Find out more @ Lynn

  10. Oh Cindy, why do these parents have to be so heartless? Yes, WE are hurting, but imagine what they are doing to the poor confused children.
    I haven't seen three of my grandchildren in a year, two of them it's three years. If my kids would tell me what the problem is I would do whatever needs to be done to rectify the situation.
    It's like the parent(s) have some sort of power thing going on and they will use the little ones any way they can to get the upper hand with us.

  11. Sometimes a breakup brings out the worst in people. Other times the worst is long since already there. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

    As it's probably still going to be an issue for awhile, have you considered therapy or counselling? I can say that it's helped me a lot. Entirely different issues, but an objective third party is tremendously helpful in getting people through times like this.


How nice of you to drop around to have a wee visit with me to see what I have been up to from time to time. I look forward to your comments as they add much brightness to my each and every day to know there are such wonderful people out there.

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