Sunday 27 December 2015

At A Loss

I have been at a loss of what to do, so what I do, is I eat.  The past couple of days have been tearful ones, more often then not.

Christmas Day my brother and I went up to Gateway Nursing Home, here in Wiarton, to go visit our Mother.  She had been happy to see us.  We had spent about an hour with her before we headed back to our respective homes.

When I had returned Rob had already left to do a couple of Taxi calls.  I had been alone but for the Aussies.  I spent quite a bit of this Christmas Day in tears.  Tears caused by depression and loneliness. Tears spent for being at a loss of anything better.

Yesterday was not too much better, and today, more tears, once again when I was alone.

I can sometimes be a a crowded room and still feel lonely.  I have always been like this, and now understand it to be part of the Bipolar 2, not that understanding makes it any easier.

Yesterday I must have slept most of the day away, or the night at least.  I am tired as I find I get drained very easily these days.

When Rob had arrived back home Christmas Day we did have ourselves a lovely Dinner of Prime Rib Roast.  It was very good.

We had exchanged gifts early Christmas morning.  He had gifted me an amazing Canon Rebel T5 camera with a 300 mm lens.  I will need a course on how to operate it !!!  He had gotten from me a sound bar for the TV, and a couple of movies from the Aussies.  It was all good.

Hopefully whenever I begin feeling better, and I pray daily that I do, I will have to get out to take some photos.

I am not only struggling with the depression, but the overeating that goes along with it.  I have gained over 50 lbs the past Year. That in itself depresses me.

I can never seem to get ahead.  I bought a new iPhone 6s yesterday on a Boxing Day deal, only to have my PC break down today. Mind you I have had it for years, and years, so it had served me well.  Today I sold my old iPhone 5s, but then had to take the money to go by a new PC.  It could have been worse, and I wouldn't have had the money from my phone to buy the PC.  Count my blessings.

I feel I am rambling, why? probably because I am at a loss for anything else, Just North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard.


  1. Now you listen to mother always said, there's someone worse off than you. Keep that chin up, girl.....

  2. The above was sent from Bess, I didn't intentionally forget to sign my name, sending you well wishes and a very Happy New Year. Bess

  3. It takes time Cindy for the medication to do its'job. Rest assured you will feel better. Good for you that you are focusing on your blessings. Of course I don't know you, only through your blog, but you appear to be a very accomplished person. You are a wonderful photographer, a great wife, daughter, Mom and grandmother and you care about your community. You are a dog lover and in my books that in itself makes you a kind and caring person. You condition just has to be managed just like someone with diabetes or any other chronic will get there!

  4. As with some of the advice above, give it time. You're not alone. The medication and therapy will help things along.

  5. Cindy,
    I have been thinking about you..
    Things will get better for you with time and
    with the New Year, a fresh, clean slate.
    Medications have a way of putting on added weight but that will equal out too in time..
    Tackle one thing at a time, no matter how slow the going goes..your not alone Cindy~


How nice of you to drop around to have a wee visit with me to see what I have been up to from time to time. I look forward to your comments as they add much brightness to my each and every day to know there are such wonderful people out there.

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