I did finally drag my sorry tired butt from my nice warm bed before 6 am. Coffee, Aussies out and in one at a time, social network catch-up, bed made, and then I made ready myself for when my brother, Al, picked me up at 9:00 am. He is very good at bringing a Tim Horton's Coffee along with him, so I was treated with a large double cream, thank you very much.
We headed on North of the Checkerboard to Lion's Head. We were off to pick our Mother up, as today we were moving her from the Golden Dawn Nursing Home, down to the Gateway Haven Nursing Home in Wiarton.
My Mom had been on the "list" for Gateway Haven for exactly the past 2 years, a first choice of home minutes to my brother and I, with her being 2nd on the list for at least the last 6 months. Should anyone not have had the pleasure of dealing with all the rigmarole, it can be just that sometimes, and other times more. In my opinion, maybe someone should write a "How to" and "What to Expect" book on all the paperwork, dealing with officials, etc ... when preparing for those "Golden Years" your parent might be heading towards.
Regardless of all of the rigmarole, today was the final "home" move for our Mother.
The move went oh so smoothly. Much better then I had anticipated, as my Mother does not care for change too much, but then again really if the boat ain't rocking why rock it, right? What I believe made the transition go so smoothly was the fact that us knowing she was 2nd on the "list" for a bed at Gateway Haven's facilities over 6 months ago, was when we starting making mention about it at every visit with her that this move was forthcoming some time in the future. This slowly put through to her that this indeed was going to be happening, in turn making acceptance of the new change much easier. This is my thought on the matter.
What really "blew me away" was others thinking how awful we were as a family not telling our Mother she was being moved until the "day of". What did I think of others thinking this? why do people assume something they no nothing of in the first place !!!! I was "ticked" anyone would judge me or my family without first even knowing me or my family, and secondly assuming they knew all the facts, or knowing that as my Mother's Caregiver I would never think NOT of putting my Mother's best interests first????
Did they know how many phone calls I made or had with the Alzheimer's Society consulting and discussing how they thought such a move would effect her, or the discussions about same I had with our Doctor, and a Cousin who is a Registered Nurse at a long-term facility, or a few PSW workers who are close friends that also work in Long Term facilities.
Trust me people, who think they know it all with being all assuming ... I did my homework before there was even any thought of this move taking place in many prior months to this day !!! The nerve of people assuming ... people that don't even know me on a "personal" basis, only knowing me as being my Mother's daughter. Shame for shame on people like you !!!
Regardless everywhere we go and everything we do there will always be small minded people as such. Maybe these people should learn not assume about other's lives and starting having a life of their own? this I think would be a very good idea should they learn to do so.
There I feel much better I got that off my chest !
Onto more positive moments. When Al and I got to Mom's room to tell her that a room was available for her at Gateway Haven, she was far from upset and ready to "rock on" with the move. Only a few tears with one of the staff members she left behind ... thanks Tanya as truly you have been a real sweetheart in all respects of true caring towards my Mom and obviously that really shone through her tears.
Other then a few, the staff at the Golden Dawn facilities are all wonderful. Their Care Director has been one lady who I have enjoyed interacting with over the past two years while Mom has been in their care; she is not only understanding, I found her too to always to be open, direct and understanding, never condescending or judgmental ... thank you for this always.
We packed up Mom's stuff, loaded it and ourselves up in the truck and headed on down towards Wiarton to finally arriving at our destination at Gateway Haven. This is also the facility where Mom had attended the Day Away Program put on by the Grey Bruce Home & Community Support Service when she had lived with Rob and I for 5 years. Well what a surprise when we walked through the door to find all her old friends from the Day Away Program having coffee together at the main cafe ! It was like a home coming for her, and they were so happy to see her.
It worked out perfect, as Mom stayed to visit with her old friends while Al and I went up to find her room and set everything up for her. We had no sooner had everything set up when one of the volunteers brought her up. She showed no sign of stress or upset whatsoever. When asked if there was anything she would like, her answer had been, "another pillow for the bed".
The room is so bright and roomy ! the next time I go I will be sure to take my camera, as today there was way too much stuff needing attended to that the last thing on my mind had been my camera this morning.
Another really nice surprise that there are only two sharing a room with a curtain divider for full privacy, but the lady she is sharing the room with is a lady she knew already as she had attended the Day Away Program with her !!! Whoohoo ... doesn't get much better then that !
With Mom all settled in after the Nurse had taken her blood pressure, having also consulted with us on a few of Mom's needs, Al and I took our leave since it was lunch time with Mom then being escorted down to the Dining Room. We were assured someone would come get her and take her back and forth until she got her own bearings, as well as doing same for any activities there might be going on. I am so excited as there are even residents there who play cards, and Mom loves playing cards. I am hoping she will start being busier then just sitting in a chair staring into the air ... I have high hopes on this being a positive move for HER ! and am very confident this was a very good choice with all her best interests in mind at every choice we, as her family, have made for her.
Before we left the Nurse had suggested we give her a few days to settle in before going back up to visit. I will go next week, however I did call at 5 pm to learn she had no signs of stress and seemed extremely content. Hooray ! this made me happy.
It had been "a really big morning", being a bit after the Lunch Hour when my brother had dropped me back off at home. Of course all four of my Aussies, if you can imagine, had their legs crossed and needed out by this time. *Smile*
I called both my sisters to let them know how the mornings events went, then got on with my day. Not too much I got done, as I was pretty tired, but I did manage to take a pail of hot water and wipe down my extremely dusty treadmill in the basement and part of a shelf. Little by little, as Rome wasn't built in a day you know? and never will be in my lifetime.
Before I knew it was time for me to have some Dinner for myself. You know when you reheat Lasagna, or any pasta dish for that matter, they tend to dry out, right? Solution in my books was to ....
"Open a jar of Home canned tomatoes with pouring some over top before reheating. Result being nice and moist with more flavor goodness added. Yum !"
I am certain everyone across Canada has already heard that there is a Major Storm front moving into Ontario this evening.
"Really Old Man Winter? you are just not going to loosen your hold on us until the Fat Woman Sings are you? It has already began here with a steady downfall of snow. Hopefully the 25 cm doesn't end up to be as bad as they predict."
You can read all about it but giving your Mouse a *click* HERE.
Oh yeah SCAMS seem to be on the rise more then usual the past two days .... check out the two emails I received in the past 24 hours.
"Really people? Canara revenue agency? Get a grip !"
"This "SAD NEWS" came from my Brother-in-law's "hacked" email account. Sad to say it was sent to everyone who was on his email list from his Church too. What did he do about it? changed his Pass Word."
Seriously I am thinking about moving over to my Gmail account permanently if Windows Messenger doesn't start "beefing" up their filters or something, as has been getting worse and worse by the minute.
Should you receive something you are not sure about in your email folders, please check with a couple of other people first before acting on anything. The old saying, "better safe then sorry" comes to mind.
I am happy for all who join me here for my opinions and sometimes rambles, as it gives me comfort at times to know I am never alone in my daily journey, "Just North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard".
If you haven't already, make sure you qualify yourself for a chance at my February 1st Give Away, by finding out all the details ... just a *click* away HERE.
Oh Cindy, I am SO HAPPY to hear that things went well with your Mum's move. I hope and pray we get some good news soon and that things go so well.
ReplyDeleteI am wishing the very same thing for you Karen ! you really are in my thoughts that all go in your favour as you have had such a difficult time with getting your dad placed xx
DeleteCindy, this made great reading. My Dad has Alzheimer's..he's at home right now, but the day will come....he's been easing into days away from home so that when the time comes for a permanent move it will be easier on Mum and Dad.
ReplyDeleteThis made me feel much more at ease.
Jane x
Congrats on a great move for your Mom. Getting to pop in and see her more often will be such fun for you both. Good luck with that nasty storm headed your way. I know you must be cooking up a storm!
ReplyDeleteOh Cindy, so happy to hear you have moved your Mum closer to you. You both will enjoy visits so much often now. With Alzheimer patients change is such a big upset in their lives. I know personally having gone thru it with my husband at only 66 yrs. of age. Each trip to the hospital or different nursing home was catastrophic for him. So glad she knew her friends were there for her. And having her closer is a great comfort to you. Stay safe from this huge Nor'easter!! We will, too......Bess
ReplyDeleteSadly, having never met Your Mom, but knowing You as a person (that I was proud to know), I'm sure, Your Mom is proud of all the effort You put into Her continuing happiness, maybe silently passed along, but I'm sure wholeheartedly! Stay true to who You are, as You are, one of the best!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you got your Mom placed nearer to your home. Never mind the naysayers, They have not had to walk a mile in your shoes or anyone who has been a caregiver.You and your Family did what you had to do with your Mother's best interest in mind. Take care.
ReplyDeleteHeathen Woman
Oh I do not think anyone should judge someone else unless they have been there. My Mom still lives at home with Alzhiemers and I understand as a caregiver myself.
ReplyDeleteI am happy your Mom is in such a nice place close to family.
You are a good daughter. HUGS B
I wish you and mum all the happiness with the move. I am sure being closer physically would help tremendously with her condition. Don't bother with negative people who do not full fathom the situation. Only you and bro knows best!
ReplyDeleteAimee
Glad everything went well with your mother and I'm sure she will be as happy as a lark when you see her next week. On my way to plow out the driveway.........:0(
ReplyDeleteGill
Hi, Cindy, glad to read that you let off some steam!! there's nothing much worse than people who voice an opinion without knowing all the circumstances, my advise to you is to just blow them off - they don't know any better!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your day and cheers!
I've been in your boat with both my mother and mother in law. I wait until I have to before I tell my mum stuff as her weeks of worry and anticipation are always worse than the actual event. It;s all very complicated and sensitive and no one has the right to judge your actions.
ReplyDeletePeople have no idea how they worry and become anxious if told too soon, which is way worse in the long run is right Chania. Some people do not have a clue about anything other then their own nose stuck out in front of them.
DeleteI have my mum close now too and it's such a weight off my mind. I didn't want to get up this morning either!
ReplyDeleteHello Cindy,
ReplyDeleteI can hear your love and concern for your mother in your post. What a day you had! I am very happy for all of you that it went so well. I haven't reached this part of life yet, and I appreciate you sharing so well about it. How wonderful that your mum has a room mate she already knew! That is a real bonus!
I am wishing her and you the very best.
Hugs,
Terri
In the same boat here too with Alzheimer. Both my Dat and my mother-outlaw have it. I don't look forward to the day I have to step into your boots, but it always on my mind. I changed over to gmail years ago, after scam in hotmail. I do get scam on my blog from time to time. Hate it.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so glad the move went well for your Mom and that she actually met her old friends there! I'm glad she enjoys it. And as for mean people, I'm sorry, my friend. Some people really think that they know better how to deal with someone else's family and loved ones instead of taking care of their own and minding their business.
ReplyDeleteThey don't walk in your shoes. They should keep their mouths shut. Hope the rest of the day went well.
ReplyDeleteCaregiving is one of the hardest jobs out there! You are doing a great job! Always here for you to vent! Your "support circle", Jessica xo
ReplyDeleteSometimes I suspect people who have that sort of gut response to this kind of decision are projecting their own experiences onto the situation.
ReplyDelete