Sunday 15 November 2015

I Wish I Could Tell You

Lack of sleep has been getting the best of me after months and months of being sleep deprived.  I look back to see my blog posts two years ago and yearn to be back there again, however at this present time I find myself unable.

Over a month ago now I got a diagnosis from my GP, then that seemed not as it was, however he then referred me to a specialist. I had an appointment with this specialist last Friday, who confirmed the diagnosis however was more elaborate with it of course as it is his speciality and why he went to medical school.  My GP I spent 15-20 minutes with, the Specialist it was an hour and a half.

My diagnosis? I have shared with, of course, my husband, who is my best friend, and my youngest son and my daughter-in-law, along with a couple of others who I felt who would care and not question or judge more then I could tell, or what I did tell.  Other family or close forever friends? they will know in person and not from a blog post.

The last couple of years has been a battle spiralling downward having gotten almost at its worse the past couple of months.  This is the one of the worse times I recall that I have felt this way for such a lengthy time.  The specialist has ordered yet another new medication for me. This will be about the 6th different medication in the past year.  I pray it works and is the right one for me.  I am scared of side effects again, however it will be something, again, I will have to chance or I will never know.

This has not been a battle of the past couple of years for me, it has been a lifetime.

I need to work on getting myself better which I believe will be a long process.  I need to digest everything and put it all in its place from all the years past until now.  Was I relieved to get a diagnosis? I am not sure if I really felt anything other then concern for my children, and what I have been experiencing seemingly most of my lifetime, and upset that I did not know until now.  One part of the diagnosis I knew and understand, the other part I had no idea until this Friday past.

I can never share or blog about something unless I feel it inside.  I can not just put something "out there" just because..... but what I have to do is get better for myself, nobody else.


That is all she wrote, Just North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard.

14 comments:

  1. Hugs, you know I am and will always be here for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wish I could give you a hug.
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cindy, I have enjoyed reading your blog for months now. I think you have a tremendous spirit and I know you will come to terms with the diagnosis you are dealing with. It is only through knowing that things can improve. Sending a virtual hug your way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Whatever it is, people will understand and be there for you. There is much people do not understand, but generally people are good and will be there for you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending love & prayers your way... xox <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really enjoy your blog. Praying for you that the new medication works and that you can begin to feel like your old self. At least now you have answers and can come up with a gameplan. Hopefully all your family and friends will be able to rally behind you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Please know that I am thinking of you. Your family and friends will be there for you as you have been for them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Prayers to help you during this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thoughts and prayers, Cindy :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sorry that you're struggling through this. I hope the medication can help.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good luck with the new medication and any other treatments you may have to have. It is difficult to know that with an earlier diagnosis things might have been different but it is what it is and God has his reasons. I feel hopeful for you Cindy, there's always a silver lining.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So sorry to learn you are struggling with this illness. Hopefully, the new medication will kick in and you'll be feeling better again. I'm sure your family and friends are all supporting you. Cindy, you always have a positive outlook - that's half the battle. Bess

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thinking of you Cindy, lots of love from me x <3

    ReplyDelete

How nice of you to drop around to have a wee visit with me to see what I have been up to from time to time. I look forward to your comments as they add much brightness to my each and every day to know there are such wonderful people out there.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...